


Not Been Written Yet

by coshaymien



Category: Smosh
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Co-workers, Defy Shutdown, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hook-Up, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Multi, Mutual Pining, Poly!Smosh, Polyamory, Sleepovers, Workplace Relationship, not gonna lie this is very fluffy and chill most of the time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-05-02 14:31:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19200799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coshaymien/pseuds/coshaymien
Summary: If there are rules, they just haven’t been written yet.The shutdown of Smosh’s parent company was imminent, and to say that what followed was unexpected would be a huge understatement. After all, we all deal with stress differently, and Courtney, Damien and Shayne were no exception to the rule. At least they now have all the time in the world to figure out that they like each other probably a little too much for just colleagues.





	1. The World's Upside Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentions of mental illness, sex and excessive drinking.  
> This chapter flashforwards quite a bit, a few following chapters will explain how it happened in more detail.

"Why are you so smiley today? Did you get laid last night or what? I knew that it was weird that you didn't reply to my twenty-seven messages how I finally got 400 Magicarp candies and-"

"No, Dames, I didn't get laid, if you must know. I am just happy to have a cheat day, really." Little did Shayne Topp's best friend, Damien Haas, know that he did have a cheat day yesterday as well. And the day before. The Defy shutdown hit the individual members of Smosh staff differently. Matt Raub and Ian were already busy trying to save the company, pitching it to nameless businessmen, and Shayne... well, he did eat quite a lot. And then felt guilty and worked out even more than usual. "And I'm sorry I didn't fangirl over your Gyarados’ evolution, I simply passed out as soon as I got back from gym at eight. And who the hell still plays _Pok émon Go_ anyway?"

"Okay, okay, if you do say so, no need to shame my gaming preferences, Shayne." Damien lifted up his hands from his half-finished glass of sundae. "I just can't believe you finally sort out your sleeping schedule under these circumstances. I'm happy for you anyway, bud." He added, sort of apologetically.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean." Shayne nodded, and continued munching on his curly fries. Whenever he had a cheat day, he went all out, that's why he still had a couple of sides left while his friend was finishing his dessert.

He didn't completely lie to Damien. He did not get laid, but... he had a sleepover. It was not in the plans during the day, but Courtney popped by to check in with him, and they ended up having a couple of beers. A few too many to let her drive back home, which was an extremely expensive Uber ride away. They ended up playing Smash and reminiscing about songs from the '90s and early '00s as Courtney had found a great and arguably very cheesy Spotify playlist. But it was just perfect, as was her soft voice, that got increasingly louder during the night, as she tried to accompany the songs, and add an occasional _hoo_ here and there. "I hate that you boys don't sing that often," she complained, in a fashion that only tipsy people acquire, her head resting against Shayne's frog-leg shoulder. She always called him and Damien 'the boys', sometimes even 'her boys'. It was clear that Keith was not in the picture in this case, neither was Noah, who was always joining in with his bestie. Shayne honestly didn't know how to answer. Damien would have known, or at the very least, fumbled over his own words as an audible excuse, meanwhile Shayne just awkwardly stayed silent. Courtney didn't seem to mind, though, it was just a meaningless, drunk remark. It was doubtful if she even remembered that question today. Thinking about it, Shayne actually knew the answer. He wanted to hear her voice, not his own. She was the best singer in the squad along with Keith, there was no question about that. Plus, he was always very self-conscious. About how he looked, how he sounded, how he sang. And people wondered why he was so obsessed with gains and reading books.

It was very kind of Courtney to check in with him, really. She confessed he was the first Smosher she visited after the shutdown, even though he lived probably the farthest away from her. He couldn't deny that his heart flustered when he opened his door yesterday to see her behind it. It was the first time she actually came to his place, as Shayne was kinda guarded about his apartment. It was the first place in LA that he really liked and felt in it as it was his home, so he really didn't want any trouble. There was nobody living behind the neighboring walls and his landlord was really chill, but still. He liked the area, it had a really neat gym nearby, and the whole shabang was a perfect place for him. At least currently. Obviously, the place was bacheloresque and too small for a family, but considering his luck in the last couple of years, the chances of it happening anytime soon were pretty slim. However, he had enough space to have a couple of people over, even to have some kind of social gathering, if he wanted, and he had a pretty comfy sofa that he slept on last night. To be fair, he and Courtney ended up in his bed, watching a bad movie on Netflix (not the Smosh one, though), but since she fell asleep first, he quietly backed out and slept on a sofa with just a cushion and a throw blanket, fully dressed.

"Any news from the squad?" Shayne enquired, after a huge gulp of cold-brewed frappuccino. Damien, obviously, judged him for forgetting to bring his reusable straw again, but he was still out of it because of the whole sleepover thing. Despite going to bed late, he had a really deep sleep last night, weirdly enough, and it was even weirder to wake up to Courtney with two cups of coffee under his nose. It was a good kind of weird, though. He could get used to that, way too easily.

"Not really. Everyone's still either confused, mad or sad. Although, I heard that Olivia has booked an audition for a movie in upcoming weeks," smiled Damien. He was really glad that his friend was already up in arms, conquering the world of show business. And the fact it was a film was even greater, because if all ends well, it's not a long-term commitment that would clash with Smosh. He knew how Shayne often struggled with _The Goldbergs_ schedule. He could have easily had a more prominent role, writers and fans loved him, but Damien really respected his commitment to both projects, often prioritising Smosh and even Smosh Games, instead of definitely more stable TV project. After all what happened these last two weeks, it was easy to see how unreliable was the career in online entertainment. Of course, he could also add how Courtney was holding up, but he just couldn’t confess what he did. Especially not to Shayne.

"Man, good for her. I wish I had even the slightest wish to audition. I don't really want to show up on set or to the college these days," Shayne sighed. At least, there was Damien who could understand what he was going through. He dealt with mental illness, too, and was definitely more vocal about his issues than Shayne, who often shied away, even from his best friend. If there was anyone who could relate to such despair, it was definitely him.

"It's alright, bud. This too shall pass," he said the timeless words, smiling. "It's not the end of Smosh, mark my words," he insisted.

"If you say so."

 

Olivia's been way too busy to even notice how weird has Courtney been. Fair enough, Defy did shut down, and they did not hang out at all since, and the whole shutdown probably stressed her friend out, too. But even her texts were bland and what not. It just wasn't the way Courtney interacted and she noticed it herself - it was _that_ bad. Not that she could help it. She was debating if she should confess to what happened that night to Boze instead, but she knew that she wouldn't be coming back, and didn’t want to bring her into this mess. She knew that she created _Smosh & Order_ to boost her résumé, it was not a secret; that's why all the squad was very supportive of the project and gave one of their best performances yet. Fans noticed it and loved it, and it hurt Courtney's heart that were would not be any more episodes. Smosh, unlike Defy, were very respecting of people's creativity, and definitely would not continue the series of one person's passion project, if that person was no longer with them. It was a shame, because the filming was one of the best experiences she had on set (not to mention bringing back Brianna Boho and her crazy wardrobe that she could never dare to wear otherwise, even if she really wanted to), and even if she wasn't there, she loved the finished episodes as a fan.

Oh, and she couldn't tell her because, well, it was Damien. She knew those two had some chemistry together, no wonder why some people shipped them, and shipped them hard. And Courtney herself once dismissed fanfiction as uncomfortable, only because it was her co-workers. She never could have imagined that she would sleep with either of those people.

But it did happen. She could say that she was tipsy, or that _#Defyisoverperty_ was crazy, but that wouldn't be an excuse. Deep down, she remembered, how she touched him, how she wanted him, badly, that night. And there is still a part of her that does. But then again, she felt guilty. Not regretful, however. It just seemed unfair, too rushed. If she only had a little more patience, a little more persistence, she could have gone after Shayne. After all, they were not colleagues any more, at least for now. And she had the biggest crush on him ever since their audition for Smosh. She always played it down, just helping with clickbait and what not, but sometimes she would lose sleep over the thoughts if Shayne was also just masking his true feelings for her, or it was just all for the camera and laughs behind the scenes. The worst thing was that Damien was his best friend, even before Smosh. And she really liked Damien, too, she just didn't realise it before.

Filming an update in Ian's house was more than awkward for her. She could tell that Damien did not tell Shayne about what happened, nor to anybody else, it seemed, as everyone was friendly with her. But it was clear that Damien did not forget. How could he? He barely drank if at all, even in that madhouse of the ruins that was Beverly Hills office. If there was anybody that should have forgotten, it was her. But she didn't. Alas, she wanted more. She wanted them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, I'm new Smosh fan and honestly I just want Courtney to be happy and I'll ship her with anyone lol. It's my first fanfic in almost a decade, so please go easy on me! Additionally, English is not my first language, so if you spot any mistakes, please comment it kindly; I really appreaciate any other kind of feedback, too.


	2. Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien and Courtney, equally exhausted after Defy's shutdown, accidentally cross their paths in the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: swearing, implications of sex.

After smashing a few Defy-branded cups with a Joven's replica of Mjölnir and chugging a few beers with some of her favorite and now-sadly-unemployed people in the world, Courtney ordered an Uber home. Sure, her ride was still here, but she sure was not in a state to drive such a distance. She will surely not miss a long drive and traffic she had to endure almost every morning. She hugged and said her goodbyes to a lot of people, making sure to definitely bump into the ones she'll likely not see anytime soon. There were loads of people who were about to quit anyway or just waiting for their contracts to finish, all signs of awful leadership by Defy. There were not only Smosh staff there, so she made sure to wish good luck to Clevver and The Warp Zone guys. She even remembered Screen Junkies, and envied them that they had escaped this hellhole in time, as she was hugging people with whom she didn't even hangout that much anyway. The reactions were mixed - some were crying, some were hysterically laughing and destroying everything that wasn't claimed and stolen already. It was a shitshow, really, and she was disassociating from it. She tried to smile while comforting some, laugh with the others, but she couldn't keep her cool for much longer, even alcohol didn't really help.

"Oh hi, Miss Miller, didn't see you there," she heard a familiar voice, once she was in a parking lot. It was Damien, approaching her from farther away. He smiled, but she felt like their smiles both were equally fake.

"Not up for partying much, huh?"

"I was up there for a while, but I don't see it as an occasion for a party, really," he shrugged. "And you? Heading home already?"

"Yeah, my Uber should be here in a minute or so."

"Wow, what a coincidence, mine just cancelled on me just before you stepped out of the building." No wonder why Damien wasn't looking very enthusiastic. Most of Smosh or even Defy as a whole, employees lived far away in the city, so this really wasn't ideal.

"You know what, we can definitely carpool, no worries." Courtney managed a smile, it wasn't as forced as hundreds she frowned back in the office.

"That's great, thank you," Damien started fidgeting on his phone, locking off the screen and putting the device in his jean-pocket before the car parks in front of them. He opened the back door, and gestured Courtney to sit down first.

"Do you mind if we add a pit stop? It's only a couple of miles, uhh-"

"-Southwest from the destination," he finished the sentence, closing the door behind him, and seeing Courtney smile at him with gratitude. He has been at hers once or twice, so he remembered which part of town was she from.

"Sure," the driver replied. "Just let me know when to turn, okay?"

"No problem, sir," Damien assured and a couple of blocks in, he wrapped his arms around the girl. She just looked like she needed it.

"Uhh, thanks," she murmured, barely audibly, but Damien surely heard it. She even adjusted one of his arms, and kept holding it closer to her chest. Not in a pervy way, just closely, platonically. Courtney just closed her eyes for a while, and enjoyed the smooth ride, her friend’s closure, the lack of words. It was easy to block out smooth '90s R&B that the driver played and the sound of the engine until, after a long while, Damien told driver to take left.

She opened her eyes, quickly blinking to adjust to the sunlight. It seemed as if they were chasing the remnants of November sun. Soon after, she stood up straight, clumsily enough to make her companion chuckle.

"Have you fallen asleep? Did I wake you up?"

"Uh, I don't think so? I was in that weird half-asleep state, I guess. You know the one," she explained.

"It's alright. I wouldn't have abandoned you anyway, I don't think this fine gentleman who is driving us, wouldn't have either," he assured, even if Courtney did not even have such a thought. She didn't even shake off his embrace, and she was definitely not the only one enjoying it.

"Why don't you stay over? I have a spare bed, and I wouldn't feel okay to leave you alone in such a state. Also, I'm sure geese wouldn't be opposed to meeting a new friend," Damien suggested as they were approaching his home, and biting his bottom lip. Was this too forward? Of course, he was concerned about Courtney, but he also craved some company, and he was afraid geese just were not going to cut it tonight.

"You know what, that sounds lovely, thank you," Courtney smiled, making sure to see her savior's face. Having pulled into the driveway, thanked the driver and assured him of a five-star rating, without a worry that they overpaid for a shorter ride, they went into Damien's place, just after he fumbled his keys in his hands and unlocked the door.

His place was relatively clean. Well, Courtney's standards were not too high in that regard, but she dared to assume that owning two cats keeps Damien on his feet enough. It was decorated with some video game artworks she had seemed to recognize from somewhere, but could not name in a short moment; not too bad, because sometimes you could easily assume that the only thing he could hang on the wall were the portraits of his waifus. She herself enjoyed some anime, but she was pretty tame and mainstream in this regard - as a kid she watched _Pokémon_ , _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ and such, even _Digimon_ , now she watched _Yuri on Ice_ , _My Hero Academia_ , _Attack on Titan_ , _One Punch Man_ and that was pretty much it. Dames, meanwhile... well, let's just say she was pleasantly surprised she didn't see more merchandise out in the open. Of course, he could have hidden more in some drawers and cupboards, you can never know, but Courtney definitely wasn’t in the mood to snoop around. It wasn’t her crazy ex that she didn't trust, just a coworker, anyway. An ex-coworker as of today, to be exact.

"You know, you really haven't worked for long, if you don't see the point of such destruction," she argued, opening a beer bottle that Damien offered.

"Maybe, yet I don't endorse vandalism."

"I usually don't either," she sighed and tasted the Corona. She wanted to ask if he had a lemon or a lime laying somewhere, but she didn't want to bother him more. After all, he graciously offered her his guest bed and she didn't want to appear like an ungrateful brat. "But that company was rotten from up top.”

"Let's just agree to disagree,” he suggested. “I feel like we would agree if I would know half as much as you do about the corporate side of things."

"I mean, I could tell you," she lifted her eyebrows suggestively after a usual Courtney-style burp. He loved how she wasn't apologetic for just a basic human thing to do, which was often perceived as rude. And the way she quickly started being flirtatious,  _oh boy_. "But I doubt you want me to bore or anger you or just bring the mood even more down... downer? What even is grammar?" she joked and Damien, thankfully, agreed.

They spent a couple of hours just pleasantly chatting, sitting on the rug, petting Damien's geese, and finishing up his beer reserves. They didn't need a movie, a video game or music to distract them, they didn't miss it, as the conversation was playful, often interrupted by their laughter. It seemed as if they barely knew each other before that evening, as Smosh Games and Smosh offices were literally at the opposite ends of the building, and Damien was pretty new overall, so Courtney did not get a chance to spend any considerable one-on-one time with him as opposed to, for instance, Joven. Sure, Shayne sometimes wouldn't shut up about his bestie even before they met him, but it turned up to be a long-term pitch, and she wanted to know him as he presented himself. She could tell that he was self-conscious, even shy, but who isn't sometimes? And even if that happens more often than not, that she did not see as a problem. She was more of an extrovert herself, sure, but it didn't mean that she didn't see any value in some quality alone time.

"Would the lady opt for some vodka and coke instead? Well, it’s actually Fanta though... I'm afraid I don't have a lot of alcohol or soda options nor I am a very good bartender, and we finished all the beer," he offered once they finished their current bottles.

"Coke?" she questioned the wording, as Damien sounded so generically American she just couldn't place his accent anywhere in particular. And more often than not, she was decent with accents. "Yeah, sure. And even if you are not the greatest bartender, you sure as hell are a great host," she added, stood up, and followed him back to the kitchen.

"Did I catch you off-guard? I know you probably usually cannot hear it but I'm originally from Georgia. Well, actua-" he couldn't finish his long-winded explanation of how he is actually a military brat, born in Germany, because, well, his guest shut him up. Quite literally. Courtney's lips were on his, while his hands were awkwardly holding a bottle of orange soda.

"Caught off-guard, huh?" she asked, grinning, after a short while. The kiss might have been short, not particularly passionate, but it was definitely sweet that much he could tell already. Courtney's lips smelled like some summer fruit; he managed to identify as much after such a short peck on the lips. And it sure as hell intrigued him more.

He didn't reply, just smiled, left the bottle alone on the counter and stepped closer to Courtney, and returned the favor. This time he made a sure decision, he didn't doubt it, lifting her chin by just a gentle touch by a couple of his fingers, closing his eyelids and slowly incorporating some tongue into the kiss. Just moments after, they were clumsily interrupting their kisses to take off their tops, and simultaneously moving towards the master bedroom. Obviously, there were some cliché banging into the walls on their way, too, as they were the world's worst stealth agents.

"Diagonally," she stated after being thrown on the bed only in her underwear, barely catching her breath. "Is this your new weirdest place?" she asked under her breath, god knows how remembering one of Smosh Pit shoots, when she learned this weird fact about him.

"Do you really think I'm that inactive or boring?" he smirked, teasingly. He wasn't offended, even though the shoot happened a good few months ago. "But sure, Diagon Alley," he lifted up her bra, smiling.

"Diagon Alley," Courtney repeated, leaning in for a kiss that lead to a night of passion.


	3. All Things Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien is anxious, yet it's not the end of the world. Courtney, on the other hand, doesn't feel _that_ optimistic. And knowing how nervous Dames can be, it really isn't much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: language, mentions of sex.

Damien couldn’t fall asleep that night. Courtney looked happy as she quickly passed out, but he wouldn’t call it a sign of his skills in bed, either in a good or a bad way. He was concerned that it was just drunkenness and her usual friendliness. When he thought about it, he had never seen her upset or angry at someone, and now he couldn’t tell if all that was genuine, or was it all just an act. Not that he wanted to ever doubt her.

At first, he thought that maybe it was a fact that he hasn’t slept with anyone in the same bed but his geese in a long while, so he grabbed a couple of things from his nightstand and went to the guest room. He made his bed there, but he couldn’t even keep his eyes closed, so quietly cleaned around his house. Sure, Courtney didn’t say anything about it, but she surely thought about his uncleanliness, even though he apologized for it a few times. He did not expect to lose his job or have someone over straight after his last day at work, let alone sleep with them. Damien typically tidied around his house bit by bit on a daily basis, usually when a goose made some kind of mess, and really cleaned after himself only when he was expecting some guests. Especially if he was thinking or even having the slightest bit of hope to get laid.

And yet, he really didn’t see it coming. This was a new feeling, as he always anxiously would think of every possible outcome. Sure, they had notice on Friday that Defy would close next year, but he didn’t dare to think that on Monday all operations would cease immediately. And sure, Courtney was cute. She was more than cute, in fact. This only made him realize what a huge dumb crush he had on her. He was just brushing it off all this time, since he really didn’t like the social ritual of dating, it just made him extremely anxious, eventually leading him to act weirdly and unnaturally, and he didn’t want anyone to fall in love with a fake version of him. He should be happy that it happened, after all, he recently had multiple one-night stands and they didn’t make him uncomfortable. He could make it work if he wanted. And he did, but this whole situation just didn’t seem right, it seemed desperate at best. He would have loved to start it over in a gentlemanly manner. It was the very least that Courtney deserved.

After some basic tidying up, he took a break and went to the balcony. He only wore his boxers that he lifted up from the floor. He felt dirty wearing them again, but he didn’t want to wake up Courtney while he would scour for a clean pair of underwear. He didn’t know if she was a light sleeper, and even if she wasn’t, alcohol consumption in most cases didn’t help insomnia, so he felt safe making noise only behind the closed master bedroom door. Thankfully, his house had pretty thick walls so he could make his house presentable without worrying of how much noise he was making. Moreover, tidying really helped to get rid of his spiralling thoughts. He took a cigarette from a half-full pack, and soon after lit it up. He didn’t smoke much and he frankly hated himself for doing so, even if he didn’t do it often. But now it helped to calm him down just a tiny bit and that was enough.

 

It was the early hours of the morning when Damien was in the kitchen, grabbing a snack to fulfill his drunken cravings, and Courtney opened the bedroom door to see him there. She had put on her underwear, her hair was slightly greasier than last night, and messier than her usual wavy do. And yet, he found her extremely pretty despite the lack of light in the room. He didn’t want to turn on the lights in case that woke her up and the sun was not up yet.

“Good morning,” she smiled, assuring him that she was up for the day and wouldn’t try to go back to sleep. She really shouldn’t try to push him over, she very clearly overstayed her welcome already.

“Morning. Would you like some breakfast?” he asked, happy to see her smile. Maybe this wouldn’t be as awkward as he feared.

“Only if you’re eating, too, I don’t want to cause you more trou-”

“It’s no trouble, really. Blueberry pancakes or the classic bacon and eggs?” he offered, assuring her that it was no problem. He was starving himself to the point that he didn’t even know if he wanted something savory or sweet.

“Bacon and eggs sounds perfect. Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” she asked, taking her clothes from the chair. Damien was clearly up for some while, if he had even slept at all, since he had taken care of her clothes. If she recalled correctly, her top and shorts were in completely different rooms before she went to bed.

“No, sure, go ahead,” he smiled and started making the meal for them both as he heard her start a stream in the shower. He took his chance to change, too, once he flipped the bacon strips in the pan. He was a decent chef, so he knew when he could leave the kitchen for a couple of minutes. He shoved his dirty clothes somewhere deep in the closet as his laundry basket was in the bathroom and he didn’t want to scare or interrupt her shower, even though if it wouldn’t be the first time seeing her naked.

 

Courtney let some tears fall down her face. They were hotter than the running water, as she opted out for a cold stream. She was sure Damien would let her use his hair dryer anyway, and even if she hadn’t seen it, she was positive he had one - one does not have such volume in their hair without a dryer. She just hoped he wouldn’t get angry at her for changing the temperature drastically, as she herself sometimes takes ages in the shower to find the optimal one.

She really didn’t know why she cried. It wasn’t because of Damien. No, she really liked him, probably too much for a one-off intercourse. It was a sign of despair, limbo that she was in professionally, sadness that she could possibly never see some of her friends again, shame. Shame that she was so weak, emotional and horny when she was drunk, the fact that she even drank at all as if there were no other options of how to deal with this emotional distress, shame that her relationship with Damien started like this. Was it even a relationship? Sure, it was a crush, maybe he even liked her back, but the problem was that it wasn’t the only crush she had. It wasn’t even the only crush in the office she had. She had a crush on two best friends, whose friendship was to be envied for. She didn’t know how she was supposed to choose just one of them, if she was supposed to choose at all, how she was supposed to tell them how he liked them, how to come clean to Shayne at all. Shit, shit, shit. And she thought she could move on from some childish crushes on her colleagues, that she could move on from boys in general since she was finally out. Clearly, there were no girls in her near future.

 _Quick shower_. She said it herself, it was supposed to be quick. Squeezing some of the shower gel into her palms, she brushed them against her face, her body, working in a decent soapy foam. Eh, hopefully it will work well enough as a makeup remover. She hadn’t taken a look in the mirror before she stepped into the shower, though, so hell knows if she even had any left on her face anyway.

They had breakfast in relative silence. They could sit silently in an Uber in an embrace with no problem just a few hours ago and now it just seemed off, awkward. At least, bacon and eggs were perfectly cooked and Courtney inadvertently smiled at her plate while eating. She noticed her phone battery was almost drained, so she ordered an Uber home, not even opening hundreds of group chat messages from last night. She was sure that a very good portion of them would be drunken rambles anyway, she’ll catch up with everything at home, it’s not like she didn’t miss much already. After finishing her meal and a cup of joe Damien also made, she took her plate to the sink and proceeded to dry her hair, feeling more anxious by the minute, as she stayed here, at Damien's.

“Hey, Dames… whatever happens, just please don’t leave?” Courtney suddenly looked up, once she turned the appliance off, her voice slightly shaking. Damien was confused. Caught off-guard. “Smosh, I mean,” she elaborated. “I know you’re talented and could book any job you wanted. But I hope that Smosh is already that job. You know there are people there who love you dearly.” She meant what she said. She meant it platonically, she referred to all the colleagues at Smosh, but maybe she meant something more, something personal. But it was just a maybe.

“I know, thank you,” he nodded, although he was visibly lost in thought. Soon enough, as she was about to leave, Damien, having not finished his meal yet, stood up.

“Thanks for everything,” Courtney managed a smile. She meant the words she just said, but she was visibly upset about how things went down.

“No problem, Court,” he hugged her goodbye.

“See you soon?” she asked as if she was not sure about the prospect of them meeting anytime soon.

“See you soon,” he agreed, a little more confident than she, but not by much. She closed the door on her way out.


	4. Homeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smosh squad updates their fans, whilst Damien acts strange. Surprisingly, Olivia is a voice of reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: language and mentions of sex.

After Ian texted them that he got access to all Smosh channels, it was quickly decided by the gang that they should film an update video and upload it as soon as possible. Courtney, understandably, dreaded meeting Damien after what happened, but they needed someone from the Games Squad, which was reasonable, so she didn’t even think of arguing. And she really wanted to see Ian too, as he was busy already pitching the company to potential buyers with Matt Raub. He really didn’t even have time to update them in texts and emails, and he was clearly the one who knew the most, so as soon as it was decided to meet up at his place, she changed and drove down to his place, even forgetting to ask if anyone wanted to be picked up on her way as well, and she usually never forgets to offer a carpool.

She was the first here except for Ian, Pam and Josh, and the first thing she did was to give Ian a long tight hug, as he seemed to need it. It was his baby (and Anthony’s obviously, too), and she was sure that he was not giving up on Smosh just yet. You could see that he barely had any sleep this week. They all had some coffee and chatted about more minor things, as he didn’t want to explain the same thing over and over again to each Smosh member. After a while, Olivia and Noah arrived, then Shayne, and later on, Boze.

“Boze? What are you doing here?” Courtney asked, surprised. Obviously, she was glad to see her friend, she seemed fine and well, but she thought it was set in stone that Boze wouldn’t be working with Smosh anymore.

“Well, we talked, and since we have some _Smosh & Order_ episodes ready to be uploaded, we thought it would be appropriate to update people on that and have Boze deliver the news,” Ian explained as Courtney was already embracing her much shorter friend.

“Ah, seems fair that Boze Bozeman would be the one to announce that,” she replied as Boze pushed her back.

“Excuse me, I’m Boze Bozington, and you’re a fake fan,” she corrected Courtney in an accusatory fashion, pretending to be offended and they all shared a laugh.

After Keith arrived, they were all ready to film, and encouraging him to sit down quicker so they can soon film, edit and upload this.

“Wait wait wait, hold up, where’s Damien, huh?” he asked accusingly, arms raised in defense. “Don’t act that I’m the only one who’s late, okay,” he added and sat down.

“I don’t know, I saw him yesterday, he seemed fine,” Shayne answered, as most eyes were on him.

“Yesterday?” Courtney turned her head back to see Shayne, wondering what they talked about. The day before she slept over at Shayne’s, once again having one too many drinks. She really should cut her alcohol intake these days before she completely destroys her liver and work relationships.

“Yeah, he looked alright. Maybe that sundae didn’t sit well with him, though,” he murmured, checking his phone if he had any unseen messages from his friend. He would usually text him if he even thought he could be late, and it usually would be just a false alarm. “Nope, all clear,” he added, louder so all the people in Ian’s living room could hear.

Keith and Noah then went to the kitchen to grab some coffee that was left in the maker, as the rest of them were figuring out how to get the most light from the window, directing Pamela how to stand, as she was in front of it, casting a shadow while holding the mike. It was clear to see how uncomfortable and awkward the pose was, but they promised not to take long shooting, going over them main updates so at least someone remembers each point.

“I’m sorry I’m late, my phone died,” Damien burst in Ian’s place as the concern for him grew stronger and a few texts were sent to him. It was very unlike him, Shayne thought, having his phone dead. He always had a charger in his car, but he was glad to see him finally come, so he let it slide.

Much to Courtney’s dismay, he sat down next to Shayne, which meant he was directly behind her. That made her shier than usual, not even realizing that in the moment. She fixed her hair looking down and had her jaw tightly clenched a couple of times, especially when Damien talked. When she looked at the footage after the upload, she noticed that very quickly. It just was uncomfortable for her, no wonder why she was disassociating from the conversation and overall just seemed like a fish out of water. If anyone noticed, at least she could pretend that it was just stress after Defy’s downfall, but even when it was partially true, she knew why she couldn’t stand Damien being so close to her and to Shayne, pretending that nothing happened. She would question why she was so concerned about Shayne but deep down she really knew the answer.

“Yo, Olivia, mind if I come to yours? I’m trying to check in with everyone after all of this,” Courtney asked after the shoot. “I went to Shayne’s two days ago, now’s your turn.”

“Yeah, sure, Sam and I have nothing in particular planned, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” Olivia smiled, noticing that Damien was slightly confused but not acting on it. She knows that sometimes there are days when you are simply out of it no matter what, and she assumed Damien was just having that: a bad day.

“Hey, Court-Court, why not me? You know I could try to Uber less since I’m unemployed and all. And I’d love to have you over,” Keith asked.

“Okay, Keith, you’re next,” she assured. “Although I know you’re lying, you’re still mad at me over the deskgate,” she added, teasing him. Thank goodness they had resolved their issues, because it was not funny at all when she was new at Smosh and Keith got mad at her for redecorating the office, and she was sure all the desks at Defy were either gone or destroyed, literally burying the hatchet.

“Well, that’s true though,” he laughed as he was already in search of an Uber, as people around him were saying good-byes.

 

Damien couldn’t sleep tonight either. Something ticked him off about Shayne last afternoon. He seemed as if he was not telling him something. Maybe he didn’t get laid the night before, but something definitely happened, he just felt it. Or maybe Shayne just wasn’t a good liar. But why wouldn’t he just tell him what the hell happened? Were they not friends just because Smosh was in limbo? What possibly could have happened that he didn’t want to say to his best friend? He really didn’t know why he got so worked up about it, though. Maybe he had a very awkward date that wasn’t funny just yet, or he didn’t want to share the good news before it got serious. He just had a feeling it was something to do with a girl, however.

He was happy that Ian got access to the channels, he really was. It meant that Smosh wasn’t over just yet, even if they were still a property of a bank Defy had debts to. But he didn’t want to see Courtney or Shayne in such a state, so he pretended that his phone was dead after he gathered enough courage to go down to Ian’s.

When Shayne gestured to sit down next to him, he didn’t think much of it. They still were good friends though, despite the secrets they kept from each other. When he realized Courtney was in front of them, they were already shooting, and he really didn’t want to make a scene and make poor Pam suffer any longer in such an awkward pose. So he just continued engaging in the conversation as if nothing happened.

“I went to Shayne’s two days ago,” he overheard after a while. It was Courtney. It took him a minute to realise what he heard. So that’s what’s up. He knew it was a girl, but Courtney? The same Courtney whom he slept with on Monday? What sick games was she playing? Was Shayne on it, too, making fun of him behind his back? Was this a vile prank they played on him? Why would Shayne not tell him about it if it was just an innocent check-up on him? Damien’s blood was boiling with rage, so he quickly made his exit as he felt he couldn’t hold it back for much more. He didn’t even say goodbye to anyone.

He drove down a couple of blocks and stopped in front of some suburban house. He turned off the engine, as he checked if there were no cars around, following him. It was all clear, as it was the middle of a workday. He started punching the steering wheel in anger and frustration. Not strong enough to trigger an airbag but enough to hurt the sides of his hands. And before he knew it, tears started streaming down his face.

 

“Olivia, you cannot tell this to anyone. Can you promise that?” Courtney insisted, hugging a glass of red wine, sitting in Sam and Liv’s kitchen.

“You know I can’t promise that before I hear what it is.”

“No, you must. You have to. Not even to Sam, you hear me?” Courtney grabbed her shoulders, her eyes got wider as if possessed. She was clearly not okay.

“Court, you’re scaring me…”

“I-I’m sorry, Liv,” the blond let her go, horrified she had even done that.

“I’ll try not to tell it to anyone, even Sam… although I can’t see how it can possibly be anything to do with him.”

“It probably has nothing to do with him, yeah. It’s just that… well, I got drunk at Defy on Monday and me and Damien carpooled to his, and we drank even more and-”

“You slept TOGETHER?”

“Yeah… yeah, we did,” she admitted, suddenly feeling even guiltier than before. Now that she said it aloud, it made it real. It wasn’t just in her head anymore.

“And it was on Monday? You managed to keep your mouth shut about it for almost a week?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And how do you feel about it? The having-slept-with-your-coworker-Damien part, I mean.”

“Uhhh, I don’t know?”

“Oh Courtney, you know. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s true. I like him, at least I think. We really connected that night, you know? It seemed like we didn’t know each other at all before that. I just don’t like that it happened that way.”

“Oh come on, you know that loads of relationships start after a hook-up, right?”

“Yeah, but it was not an ordinary Tinder date. It wasn’t even a date, just two friends opening up after they lost their jobs. I’m not sure if I would even swipe right on him,” she confessed.

“You would definitely swipe right on him, don’t fool yourself,” Olivia giggled. Damien was an objectively attractive young man, there was no denying it. And even being in a committed relationship, she could admit that.

“I guess. But it’s not only about hooking up. It’s the whole coworker debacle.”

“But neither of you are currently employed at Smosh.”

“But-”

“But Shayne.”

“What? What do you mean? Olivia, are you implying what I think you're implying? Are out of your mind?”

“Dude, everyone knows you like him, no need to be so defensive... And you know, even this reaction of yours really says something," she teased her friend. "You liked him ever since he promised to see you at work after your audition together. And he does like you, too.”

“Don’t you da-no-Olivia, you know it’s just for cameras and shippers, right?”

“No, you just don’t see how you look when you look at him. And how he looks at you.”

“So… why are you ensuring me about Damien?” she asked, after a pause, having thought about it. Olivia knew her way too well.

“Because you’d look cute together. And you and Shayne had your chances, loads of them. Okay, I said that he likes you, but I’m just not sure if he does anymore, it’s been a really long time and no action. Maybe he’s just tired of waiting for something to happen. Or he had moved on. You and Damien, however, are a new prospect-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I just don’t want to betray him, if he has even the slightest hint of feelings to me. It’s his best friend, after all.” Courtney thought about him, his stupid frog-leg arms, dick selfies in the kitchen mirror… did they still have a spark that night? They didn’t even smooch, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to do it with him, especially after her another disastrously spontaneous decision to sleep with Damien. But she definitely felt like home when she was at his, there was no single awkward moment between them that night. And maybe it was better than a short spurt of lust that she felt with Dames. Maybe it was a much more deeper connection.

“I guess you’ll just have to come clean to Shayne, then. You don’t really think you two can hide it from him forever, don’t you?”

“Shit, Olivia. Don’t pour me any more wine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a roadtrip with my family soon, so I dumped all of the stuff I've written, so I don't know when the next parts are coming out, and if it's soon, it's definitely not going to be so frequent. I hope I come back with some cool ideas to keep this going, though!


	5. Oblivions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courtney checks up on Keith and bumps into someone in the dead of night again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The usual warnings - if you read this far, you know the language and the topics.

Although Keith and Courtney had Keith’s apartment set up as their meeting place, the girl had to be behind the wheel soon enough, as her colleague insisted to be driven around the city. She didn’t really argue, as was already bored of just sitting down in apartments and drinking, which probably would lead to oversharing her problems, again. That was precisely opposite to the point of her check-ups, she was supposed to listen, not to vent herself. Not that Keith would mind or remember anyway. Then again, sleeping with their co-worker was a pretty big deal, there was no office romance, at least, that she knew of. And she would usually be the first to suspect something's off.

They stopped at the late-night arcade first, as per Keith’s suggestion. “Let’s forget everything and have some fuuuuun!” he exclaimed, and Courtney couldn’t help but smile. Indeed, that was all she needed: open car windows, speeding down the highway - at least as much as her poor little Fiat engine could, wind rapidly flying off and then bumping into her head, soaking in the last pastel pink and orange rays of sun for the day, blasting whatever Keith played on the aux cord and just singing her heart out. Fittingly enough, they started off with some angsty songs but as the sky got darker, the music got calmer, echoing the start of Courtney’s content. Somehow, in that moment, she was sure she would be alright, eventually.

They spent a couple of hours in the arcade, and Courtney somehow abstained from the gin bar there, opting for some house lemonade instead. As they ran out of cash (that was mostly Keith, as he was courteous enough to cover most of the entertainment costs for the night, as Courtney did the driving) and they were dangerously close to have enough tickets to buy the largest teddy bear Courtney has ever seen, Keith’s stomach growled so loud that she heard it, standing on the other side of the basket they were shooting the basketballs at just mere seconds ago.

“In-N-Out?” he suggested, almost innocently, shrugging.

“Sure,” she laughed, and they took off to the nearest drive-thru.

The journey was relatively quiet now, as it was almost 2am. Not that Courtney minded, it was just weird staying up this late. She was more of an evening person herself than a morning one, but having had early call times on set was the norm for a few years now and it was just a little bit weird not having to worry about staying up too late and being late tomorrow, even though it never really bothered Keith anyway. She wasn’t tired either, just a little bit hungry so driving with such a goal in mind wasn’t unbearable at all. In fact, she could almost see herself in half an hour, already teeth deep in a greasy goodness of a cheeseburger.

“Yo, is that… Damien’s car?” Keith asked, unsure of what he was seeing in front of him, whilst lining up to drive to the speaker of the drive-thru. And before Courtney realized that, indeed, Damien’s place was not that far away from here, Keith had already opened his window and was beeping her wheel in short intervals.

“Heyyyyyyyy Damieeeeen!!!!!!” he shouted in order to get the colleague’s attention. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Damien, in the driver’s seat, opened his window and turned around to see Courtney in the same seat, just in a Fiat, not his own car, _obviously_ , trying to force a smile, clearly not comfortable with the whole situation, and Keith on her right hand-side, vigorously waving Damien hi.

“Hiii!” he waved back. “Sorry guys, I’m here just for a late-night snack,” to Courtney’s delight, he was quick to excuse himself. Not that happy - Keith.

“Duuuuude, comeee oooon,” he elongated his vowels to shame Damien for not joining them for their trip.

“No, sorry, I just got out of bed, I’m still in my pajama pants, and they’re freezing. Maybe next time,” he apologized, and then drove along the lane and started ordering. Makes sense, Courtney thought. Damien was never the one to stay up late, but maybe he got up starving, if he didn’t eat before going to bed. But pajama pants? Well, she didn’t usually sleep naked either, why she imagined Damien doing that, then?

“Damien’s acting weird,” Keith stated, out of nowhere, as they were sitting and eating in the car, having stopped in the parking lot they found along the way to Keith’s. “You know what’s up with him?”

“No idea,” she shook her head, lying confidently. At least he didn’t notice how upset she got herself. “You have something here,” she gestured her finger on the corner on her lips.

  
  


Damien hated going for groceries alone. It was the most mundane task imaginable, and he always failed to stick to his list, almost always forgetting something and always, always buying more than he needed, usually something that he didn’t need at all. That’s why he always bugged Shayne to tag along, and thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind it that much. If he couldn't make it, he would bug someone else, but more often than not he waited for Shayne, unless he was seriously short on something he needed instantly. He really needed someone to tell him to put stuff back, especially that his income was now drastically lower. At least he had some voice acting gigs to fall back on.

“Courtney hasn’t checked up on you yet?” the blond asked, taking the tomato soup can out of the cart and putting back to the shelf. He knew Dames had at least five cans in his cupboard already.

“No, what’s up with that? I haven’t heard from her in ages,” Damien answered, a bit annoyed. Did they always talk about her that much? And yes, he said something he shouldn’t have said, again.

“Dude, Courtney’s literally been visiting people from the office for weeks now, just checking in with how is everyone doing while Ian is busy with the actual business stuff. You more than anyone should know that mental wellbeing is important, too. You sure she hasn’t reached out to you yet?” he pressed, and Damien, almost out of nowhere, got really defensive.

“How many times do I have to repeat myself? No, no, she hasn’t,” his voice sounded louder.

“Woah, dude, chill. I’m sure she will do though, I don’t think she has finished checking up on the Games squad yet, so maybe you're just one of the last ones,” Shayne assured. He sounded calm, almost jokingly trying to tease Damien first, lifting up his hands, but seeing his friend’s face, decided it wasn’t his best idea. Yet, he didn’t think of stopping worrying, even though he had to bite his tongue in order to not voice his concern.

It was weird, Courtney was all over group chats, Shayne was sure he had loads of individual text chains as well, as he was told by multiple people already how great Courtney was for doing such a simple task of just keeping someone company, and how they enjoyed their time together. Sure, Damien was always quieter, both in real life and in chats, so maybe he just hasn’t noticed that yet. But something just didn’t click, not in Shayne’s head, at least.

  
  


“Shayne, can you please come? Please?” Courtney was holding down her tears over the phone, just on the edge of crying. Sitting on the floor, she couldn’t say why, she just needed some company. It was time for her to be selfish in her friendships for once, stop giving so endlessly and carelessly, not looking after herself. She hasn’t showered in days, barely spraying some dry shampoo on her head, she felt so down. She was exhausted trying to keep up a positive demeanor and showing how great this limbo can be, despite her not enjoying it herself in the slightest. She was a decent actor, a good liar, but it was obvious from the start that she couldn’t keep this up forever. And now was that exact breaking point, and she was all alone. Even Jango was in Utah with her mom so the only thing she could cuddle with were her blankets and she wasn't that desperate or alone. At least she hoped she wasn't. Hell knows why Shayne popped up first in her contacts, now she just hoped he wasn’t that far away.

“Court…” he sounded concerned, but just couldn’t finish the thought, he could make out the sounds with his mouth to form the questions he had. Why the sudden phone call, why such a weird voice? He sighed. “I’ll be there in fifteen. Damien, you’re coming too, Court’s having an emer-” he answered what she hoped to hear, and then he didn’t. At all. But Shayne’s voice was being distant, as he took his phone off his ear, still speaking before he ended the call, and Courtney was too in shock to say something, to say anything at all.

When she said she needed company, she didn’t mean Damien. She didn’t mean Damien.

Damien was Shayne’s best friend.

He oughta know. Now.

That’s not how she imagined this going down.

_ I guess that’s karma for you, then. _


	6. In the Stillness of Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very angsty car ride that leads to a some kind of resolution, at last.

Courtney was preoccupying herself by tidying around her place. It was already almost in impeccable condition, as she couldn’t stand leaving any mess around for a second longer than it should (probably because growing up there was literally no space for that), and she didn’t have a dog to make any other mess in the first place. Gosh, she missed Jango every day, ever since she brought him to Utah for good. Now she understood how he felt every time she couldn’t be around. That teddy bear would have been nice just about now.

There was a faint sound from the other side of her apartment of The White Stripes put on shuffle when she broke down in the middle of making a mean avocado toast. Was it _We’re Going to Be Friends?_ Probably, maybe. It would make sense, but honestly, she was way too deep in her own thoughts, or the lack of cohesion in them to even sense of anything. She never felt such disassociation in her life, even though it wasn’t the first time. It might as well have been, as she'd usually feel weirdly okay with feeling aware outside her physical body for a short while every now and then, but this? This just hurt. She couldn’t describe how, she didn’t even understand why it was happening, but she was sure of one thing - that she wasn’t okay, no matter how hard she tried to pretend otherwise.

It didn’t seem such a bad idea at first, even though the last time she listened to the band for this long was when she read they had broken up. Was it truly almost a decade ago? How could a 14-year-old Courtney cry so easily? Regarding people she didn’t even know?

Now, the only thing she could do was to punch the counter.

“Ow,” she whispered. Okay, she’s back to earth, that’s good. Although now it really hurt, and she knew how or why. She truly was a top-class idiot, no doubt about that.

With her arms shaking, she managed to pick her phone up from the back pocket of her shorts, and call the first number she thought would listen up. She didn’t even really know what she would say, it was just a fleeting train of thought, that she needed to talk, or at least somehow, barely communicate that she wasn’t really okay with being alone now.

A few beeps and she heard a voice at the other end of the line. Okay, he picked up. That’s where her plans stopped, and her silence didn’t help Shayne’s concern to go away. That was what she wanted, wasn’t it? To make people not worry about her, to not think that her troubles were bigger than theirs - _because they weren’t,_ _Courtney._

“Sh-Shayne?” her voice was shaky, so shaky that it scared her own self upon hearing it. And supposedly, your own voice sounds way better in your own head, so she could only fear what it was actually like.

“Courtney, what _is_ going on?” Shayne asked, concerned and at the same time, demanding. He wasn’t happy. Maybe she was interrupting something important, maybe a date or something. She couldn’t possibly hope that he stayed single and didn’t go on dates, especially after what she did. Oh god, maybe he already knew, maybe Damien already ran his mouth. Or maybe he just suspected something. It wasn’t that her voice and whole body was quaking, it couldn’t have possibly been just that.

“Idunno,” she said under her breath, in the way it was barely understandable or audible at all. “Shayne, can you please come? Please?” she begged, although it wasn’t the usual teasingly way of hers, she didn’t stretched out her vowels, on the contrary, it was short and definitely not sweet.

 

“I can only assume it’s a panic attack or something. Either way, she didn’t sound okay and she needs our help and company. Stop being so obsessive and shove everything that’s left in the fridge and leave the rest in the bag. Your eggs won’t rot up sooner just because they’re still in the fucking carton,” Shayne was riled up that his friend was so reluctant to go help out Courtney. Sure, he didn’t exactly hear her, but Shayne barely did either if he was completely honest. And Courtney was definitely not the one in their friend group to be like that. Not that it was normal to anyone ever, nor it should be.

“I guess you’re right,” Damien shrugged, and continued putting the groceries in the fridge as he was used to doing that, not rushing in the slightest, avoiding eye contact.

“Well, fuck you, too,” Shayne answered, shoving multiple items and closing the fridge door. Damien barely manage to move his hand out of the way in time. “Let’s move,” the blond added, and rushed to the door and then to his car, opening the passenger door just as Damien had no other option but to follow him, locking up his front door.

“No need to be _that_ rude,” he remarked, as he fastened his seatbelt, not in his usual fun and teasing way. He had a feeling that he was too transparent and Shayne knew exactly what was going on. If anyone could figure him out, it was definitely his best friend. And infamously Damien wasn’t really good at keeping secrets anyway.

“You… you just haven’t heard her, okay?” he could feel Shayne staring at him, head slightly turned towards him, as he hasn’t moved yet. “Poor Courtney… pouring her soul to help everyone else and nobody ever asked how she was feeling herself, probably,” he mumbled to himself, although Damien heard him perfectly well, sitting up unusually straight in the passenger seat.

“Okay dude, if there’s something you wanna say, just say it, I see there’s something going on, I’m not that stupid, you know. I mean, I _don't really see it now_ , as I’m being a responsible driver and shit, but you know what I mean,” he added, louder just about they were in the second last intersection to Court’s place.

“Honestly, I don’t know what you mean, Shayne,” he lied. It was obvious that he lied, but not that obvious to know what exactly happened. He felt bad, sure, but he couldn’t just blurt it out without letting her know what he was about to do. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing her, but this blatant lie was about the last thing they needed, so he had no other choice but to hope Courtney was okay with coming clean. He couldn't even think of what he would need to do next if she wasn't.

 

"Alexa, stop," she murmured, putting some tea on the stove. The music still played. "AlEXA, _STOP_ ," she repeated, realizing her voice wasn't enough so she overshot, resulting in a shout. At least this time it worked.

She needed to bring herself together at least a bit. She needed to still be a decent enough host, if she was having some company. Maybe she'll be able to fall apart once she greets them, now shedding a tear seemed impossible. The thought of having to come clean was still on the forefront of her mind, though, and it was clear she wouldn't have a wholesome heart-to-heart as she had hoped.

"Hi," she said, answering a doorbell and was greeted by a tight hug by Shayne. She caught a glimpse of Damien behind him, standing awkwardly behind him.

"Babe, don't ever scare me this much," he said, softly and it made Courtney all fuzzy inside. Both happy and so uncomfortable she could crawl out of her own skin.

"Come on in, I got the tea going," she waved inside once she let him go, a bit reluctantly.

 

"So I'm, like, exhausted. I try to be or at least seem happy so people don't want to leave and don't see this as the worst thing ever. As I do," she explained, having a slurp of a tea, half-finished already. She had a boy on each side, Damien carefully holding her right hand and Shayne softly caressing her right knee, as she had been sitting on a sofa cross-legged.

"It makes sense you didn't wanna talk to Damien, then," Shayne nodded as Courtney's face got paler. Just as she was feeling better. She stole a glance towards Damien and he nodded, slowly but surely, with an assuring smile.

"Yeah, about that…" Courtney started. She didn't dare to smile as well.


	7. Brown Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _My heart's too old to survive this storm, /_   
>  _yours too bold to give the rest_

Shayne just laughed. It was just ridiculous.

"Good one guys, ya almost got me," he wagged his finger playfully, but he didn't get a reaction he expected. Oh. OH. OH NO. WHAT? THEY WERE _SERIOUS_? How was he supposed to react calmly? Shayne just had to continue to laugh hysterically, there was no other option, he couldn’t back out now, he was in too deep. He would always either laugh or try to make others laugh, that's the only way he knew how to deal with any kind of emotions. And you'd think he'd learn a thing or two from a psychology major he was studying for or all the books he had read. No, he was just a technically drowned idiot baby and he'd always be one no matter how hard he tried.

Courtney and Damien shared a concerned look. They broke Shayne, just like that. It was a possibility, sure, but they expected him to deal with it at least a little bit differently.

"Yo, you're alright now, or what?" Courtney asked after a good, uncomfortable minute as Shayne's laugh faded into an infrequent chuckle which sounded more like a hiccup than anything else.

"I wouldn't call it that, but yeah, sure," he tried to agree nonchalantly, but they could see through that. “But I’d like to go outs-”

"Man, don't lie to me like that. You didn't even mention that Courtney came around to visit you."

"Oh, so this is what it is about?" Courtney jumped in, clearly upset. "If you must know, nothing happened between us that night, but since you clearly think of me as an office whore-" she couldn't finish her thought without tearing up. She didn’t want them to see, so she turned around and quickly went to her bedroom, covering her face, and hoping not to break down. She would have just left right then and there if it was any other location, but it was her apartment after all and she didn't have enough energy to tell them to leave.

"Dude, _what the fuck_?" Shayne asked in half-volume, seemingly back to his senses.

"Look who's speaking up now."

"No, man, you need to take a good hard look at yourself. You're clearly projecting your own insecurities or maybe even flaws on her, when she's made no more mistakes in this situation than you. And now, if you excuse me, I need to catch my breath and go comfort my friend and set the record straight with her."

 

"Heyy, Court-Court, can I come in?" the door wasn’t even closed, but Shayne knocked on it anyway, as Courtney couldn't see anything beyond her fingers on her face.

"Um, I guess," she sat up straight, resting her arms to her sides, legs still crossed on her bed. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were dewy from the tears. She tried to cover it with a smile though. "Unless you think that too."

"Courtney, I could _never_ ," Shayne sounded sincere as he sat down on the side on her bed, keeping at an arm's distance.

"Good to know," she nodded, quietly.

"It doesn't mean I'm not hurt. I don't blame you, or him, I should have been clearer about my feelings, from the very beginning. Yet, I wasn't sure if they would be reciprocated and I didn’t wanna make things weird in the office…"

"They would have been. They still would, Shayne," Courtney smiled. There was sadness, shyness, hopefulness all entangled in that one face. Shayne wanted to be hopeful, too.

"And Damien? Do you feel anything for him?" he had to ask for that, even though his heart sank before even hearing the answer.

"I guess…"

"You guess? How can you not know?" he gradually increased his volume without even realizing.

"Why are you getting so worked up for him, huh?" Courtney screamed back and then silence fell between them.

 

Damien was stunned. Well, sure, he was no Pokémon, not to his knowledge, at least, but he felt like he had nothing to counteract with, as he was stunned as in some kind of otherworldly attack, and usually he could come up with something in a split second, he could usually say something, even if it didn’t make any sense; improv classes had really helped him in that regard.

He didn't think that Courtney was that horrible thing that she labeled herself as, he didn't even had such nasty words in his vocabulary. But Shayne’s words though, boy did they hurt. And deep down, he knew they hurt precisely because they were true. He had been sleeping around before the Courtney incident, and Shayne had a clue even if Damien didn't elaborate. He never kissed and told. Not that Shayne would mind, in most instances anyway. But this was no ordinary girl, and he was a fool to presume his friend wouldn’t be upset for not knowing that few of his closest friends were somewhat in a relationship together.

Courtney had nothing to do with Damien's insecurities, though, he shouldn't blame her for his choices and mistakes, even subconsciously, and even if he didn't think that he thought so, it certainly appeared that way. He had to apologize, swallow his pride, comfort her.

As he was about to follow Shayne into the bedroom, he overheard what they were shouting, and he wasn’t even trying to eavesdrop, it just was that loud. He had stopped, not trying to make matters worse, but as they shut up, and the silence continued, he finished making his way down to the bedroom.

Shayne was standing up, next to her bed as if he just stood up, looking like he was ready to defend himself, arms slightly lifted as if to signal not to hurt him. Courtney still had a shine on her face from crying, but it wasn't as bad as an _I’ve-just-cried_ face could be. In fact, she looked angry. Frankly, so did Shayne, but his face also looked paler than it usually did.

“Is this a bad time to apologize?” he asked, not daring to establish eye contact for more than a couple of seconds. “To both of you?” adding, he glanced at Shayne, too.

“I honestly don’t think there’s ever a bad time to say sorry,” Courtney answered shyly.

“But it’s also not the most perfect situation to barge in, is it?” Shayne obviously held a bigger grudge against him, which was fair enough. Damien felt like an outsider again. Sure, he knew Shayne, but he didn’t fool himself, he only got the Smosh gig because of him, and since he was the newest cast member, he always felt somehow out of place whenever Shayne wasn’t in the room and not only then. Shayne and Courtney had this very special dynamic between them that he couldn’t put his finger on to decide what it was. It was like something was always left unsaid between them, at least when Damien was around, but even looking from the distance it didn’t look any different. And then it hit him. Shayne obviously liked her. People in the office sometimes joked that they had a potential for a relationship, but Damien never really paid attention to it, maybe he just disregarded that, thinking that Shayne would have told him that he liked her. Maybe he was embarrassed to have a crush on a colleague, but still, they were best friends, and he didn’t have any stakes there for a few years when Shayne was just starting at Smosh while Damien was making some leather belts.

“So? You’re gonna apologize, or what?” Shayne urged him.

“You like her,” Damien said, under his breath, oblivious that was already discussed just minutes ago, but the silence he broke was so intense they both easily heard that.

“You said _what_?” Shayne looked at him as if he was ready to kill Damien right then and there. But that was also a guilty look. Courtney was just staring at them, mouth slightly opened, in a disbelief.

“I mean, it’s kind of really obvious now that I think about it, it has always been there, hasn’t it,” he added, just stating what he thought, not even asking, as Shayne’s face was getting redder and redder by every passing second. But he didn’t say anything, although his mouth was trying to open but having failed to make any coherent sound, it closed, it happened a couple of times. Damien didn’t feel smug or smart for figuring it out, he was almost as dumbfounded by the realisation as Courtney was, who was still keeping her distance sat on her bed, mouth still opened.

“So? Is that true, Shayne?” she asked after what felt like minutes of silence and awkward glancing among them three, currently still not sure if he actually liked her or not, as Shayne relaxed just a tiny bit. It still was too late for him to back out, that was obvious.

“Even if I said no, would you believe me?” he asked, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Honestly-?” Courtney started.

“No,” both she and Damien said in unison which resulted in Shayne exhaling a deep sigh.

“Then I won’t lie. Yes, I really like you, Courtney,” he said it slowly as if to assure himself, and even forced a decent enough smile. Or maybe it was just a relief that he could finally stop having a secret for this long. Maybe it was for the best that Damien didn’t know. He would have either blurted it himself or made Shayne confess and made the matters weird in the office. This is probably the only case where not having one was actually a good thing.

“Well then, I really like you, too,” Courtney smiled, and a tear twinkled in her eye. But something was still left unsaid, but this time it made Damien really uneasy in anticipation.

“So, should I just leave you two lovebirds, ooor-?” he was ready to back out. He wouldn’t say he was absolutely okay with this, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t deal with eventually. And he truly loved them both, so this in a weird way, was actually ideal. Just not currently, he needed a little time to grieve and swallow his pride.

“Will you just let me finish, please?” Courtney was quick to interrupt. “I actually like you, too. Like, I’d say I like you both awfully, equally well,” she explained and grabbed a pillow from behind her back just to push it against her face and let a muffled cringing growl that was still mildly audible. She was visibly uncomfortable, but Damien could tell she wasn’t trolling. He glanced at Shayne, who was in turn looking at him as well.

What was he thinking just a second ago? Oh yeah. _He liked them both_ , too.

"I also… kinda like you… both?" Shayne added after a while, echoing his thought, even slower than before but in a squeaky voice as if he was unsure of what he was saying. The silence fell upon them for a while again.

"So... here's a crazy idea. What about, um, let's see... not choosing at all? How about we stop fighting since we all have crushes on each other? And maybe start loving instead?" Damien suggested. He wasn't sure what he was saying at all, he let his heart lead for once. He could only hope it will turn out just fine. It couldn't be any worse than it currently is, anyway.

After a pause that seem to last ages in their minds, Courtney giggled, burying her head and body into her bed. Well, she didn’t see it coming at all, but she'd be damned if she tried saying she wasn’t happy about how it all turned out at the bitter end.

"So how do you suggest we do this?" she asked, sat up straight, all smiley with a little devilish twinkle dancing behind her eyes, tears brushed off somewhere in the sea of cloth around her.


	8. ...and All the Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And let the storm salt the sea /_   
>  _Or perform a wicked heresy /_   
>  _To our hearts and to our minds_

“If you’re still not feeling okay, we can stop this, you know,” Damien said, looking at Courtney who started tearing up. Not full on bawling, thankfully, but it still was concerning.

“Yeah, we can always do this any other time, rea-” Shayne agreed.

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine, really. I’m okay, don’t worry. Actually, I’m more than okay, I just cannot believe this is actually happening, still,” Courtney explained herself, cutting him off, not rudely, though, smiling widely to reassure.

There was no reason to doubt her, as Damien himself felt the same. He just realized he didn’t like to see her cry, even if they were happy tears. Selfishly enough, he felt that if he didn’t stop her, he’d start crying himself, and then, Shayne would join in or get mad or something. Either way, this wasn’t ideal as they were in the middle of making out on Courtney’s bed. They were it taking it slow, still fully clothed, enjoying the first fragile moments of their relationship, and undoubtedly, silently trying to make sense of all that was happening between them in the last hour or so. He noticed that Courtney actually really enjoyed being kissed and all these stories about it got a new, deeper context in his mind.

“Well, if you say so yourself…” Shayne started and left the thought hanging somewhere up in the air between them, looking at the girl with a concern that made Damien’s knees weak. He didn’t have an atom of jealousy in himself when he watched them share their first real off-camera kiss. They were his lovers, and he loved that they loved each other, too. It was a weird feeling, but he didn’t give it that much thought just yet, as he has never felt this good, this loved in ages. No, if he had to be honest, he has never felt _quite like this_ before.

“Come on, what are we waiting for?” she smiled, looking first to Shayne, then she turned to him and initiated yet another kiss. He noticed she didn’t let go of Shayne’s thigh, though, and started caressing him again. Soon after, they were lying there, limbs having scattered onto the silky fabric; sometimes sloppy kisses not feeling like sloppy seconds; soft, sometimes still a bit awkward touches failing to stop; all smiles, all tears turning into endless, short but sweet giggles; all happiness that now seemed to last forever. Seconds bled into minutes, minutes bled into hours and yet each second appeared to last entire lifetimes, ages in their minds.

 

It probably took them hours to get to where they were now, naked, a little bit sweaty, a little short of breath, but absolutely in the best spirits ever. They didn’t stop talking sweetly and softly, in half the usual volume throughout the whole process, as if afraid to be found out - thankfully, Courtney lived alone - but even then, she felt a little bit guilty having to excuse herself.

“I’d love to continue our pillowtalk, boys, but I’m about to burst my kidneys and that wouldn’t be fun at all,” Courtney tried to laugh it off, but they only encouraged her, nodding and assuring as she slid off the bed. What has she ever done to deserve this? To deserve them?

After the deed, she turned on the stream to have a very brisk shower, just to regain some of the energy and clean herself up. She had a feeling that Shayne and Damien will want to do the same, so she tried not to take long, making an effort to stop her drifting thoughts that would make her forget the task at hand. If she ever put her mind into it, she could have made a perfect brave little soldier, that was for sure.

Afterwards, she dried herself off and took two clean full-body towels from the cupboard and put them next to the sink for the boys to use. To her surprise, she didn’t see them in her bedroom when she walked out, still naked, the towel draped over her shoulder, only her hair being a little damp. Panic crossed her mind briefly, as her heart sank for a second that it took for her to walk out and see them in the kitchen, scrambling for something. The blinds were shut down, as they haven’t put their clothes back on either, and she giggled, in relief.

“Oh sorry, we felt hungry-”

“We hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t. But if you’d like to shower first, the towels are ready for y’all,” she explained. They looked into each other, at first not knowing what to do and then instantly, all at once, knowing exactly what to do.

“Go on then, you lovebirds,” she laughed, opening up the blinds again. “Don’t worry, it’s just the backyard,” she assured them with their questioning looks and as they both went to the shower, she took her towel and smacked it against their buttocks in one clean sweep, letting out a soft giggle. Watching them go, she let out a soft sigh to herself as well. Not that she wasn’t happy, she was. It was just… a lot? She didn’t feel at all possessive, which was a nice change of pace of her, and she felt quite proud of herself because of that. She wasn’t proud that she bagged herself two boys she’s been eyeing for a while at once, she was rather just happy. And loved, and loved a lot at that. She didn’t need any verbal communication to confirm and feel that she had her guts this content for the first time in her life.

 

“I’ll get your back, if you get mine,” Shayne suggested once they hopped into the shower.

“Sure thing,” Damien nodded, and put some gel on the loofa as Shayne tinkered with the shower head. “I thought Courtney liked cold showers, though?” he remarked, surprised with the initial warmth. Before that moment Shayne had already forgotten that they slept together before and now he felt left out, even if it didn’t really matter now. Obviously, Damien noticed that he got quiet, Damien always notices. “Hey man, sorry again-”, he started massaging his back, as per request. 

“No, I’m sorry, it doesn’t really matter now. I’ll get over it, for sure. I just need time, you know? And I think the water was nice as it was, I tried to get it back,” he took the loofa as Damien handed it to him, and started to brush it against his skin, all over his body and turned to face Damien to give him the sponge back. The shower gel was closer to him anyway.

“Yeah, the water’s nice as it is,” Damien smiled reassuringly before kissing his forehead and continuing to wash himself up. And Shayne knew he’d give him the time that he needed, that so would Court. He was sure that neither of them meant to hurt him anyway, it was clear now, it just happened to happen that way between them, that was all. No relationship was ever perfect, Shayne could only hope that this would be their only hiccup.

“Is that okay? Isn’t it too tough against your skin?” Shayne asked, as he was given the loofa back to finish lathering Damien’s back.

“No… was I too rough?” he asked, worried.

“No, no. Everything’s perfect,” Shayne smiled, gaining his spirits back.

 

They found Courtney already changed, in light shades and thin fabrics, preparing iced coffees for the three of them in the kitchen, as her Keurig was brewing.

“I think you’ll need to bring some change of clothes next time you come around,” she said, glancing at their bodies, as their lower halves were covered with towels. “I mean, if we’re continuing this, that is,” she mumbled, head bowed that they could only see a full head of short blonde hair, as the setting sun was shining through a window, it was glistening with water droplets.

“Well, of course we are. Aren’t we?” Damien turned to Shayne, unsure if he was in agreement with him.

“Uh, sure. I just think we might need to establish some ground rules, maybe do some reading on this… I’m afraid I don’t have a single clue how should we proceed, even if I really want to,” Shayne shrugged, still hesitant to say what he wanted to say.

“You sure you don’t want to say something now?” Shayne sighed before answering him.

“Yeah, okay. I’d appreciate if both of you tried to not reference the time you slept together? Just for the time being, it just hit me _today_ , after all. I’m sure I’ll be fine in no time, I just need some time to process it all.”

“Sure thing, Shayney boy,” Courtney nodded, and before he knew it, her arms were tangled around his upper back, giving him a snug hug, not too distant and definitely not too tight. Soon enough, he felt Damien wrapping his hands around them both.

“We didn’t do anything naughty in the shower, you know,” Shayne admitted, and Courtney laughed.

“I know. I mean, I _don’t_ , but even if you did, I trust y’all,” she answered, and Shayne wasn’t that surprised for some reason.

 

“They should be something like caramel frappuccinos or something, give them a taste,” Courtney announced, bringing the glasses to the table the boys were sitting at, already back in their clothes, trying to Google something on her laptop. The insides of the glasses were indeed drenched in some light brown syrup, à la Starbucks.

“Geez, I know I’ll have to burn all of this tomorrow at the gym, somehow. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop before I finish it,” Shayne somewhat complained, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

“Not if I finish it first,” Damien teased, and Courtney smiled, taking a seat next to him, looking over his shoulder to see what they were looking at.

“You know you should be careful with stuff like this, right?” Shayne voiced a concern. He was sure Damien was joking, but still, he was worried for him, considering Damien was suffering from digestive issues for years now.

“I know, I know, I won’t rush drinking this,” he assured.

“So, polyamory, huh?” Courtney asked, regretting not putting her glasses on, but Damien already had his arm wrapped on her side and she had no will to stand up to search for them, so she opted for squinting her eyes at the screen instead.

“I guess so.”

“It says that the people in such relationships value trust and honesty more that the physical exclusivity. It sounds like us, doesn’t it?” Courtney just nodded in agreement.

“I’m not sure if we qualify for those relationships that would want to introduce more parties, at least not yet,” Shayne said, having read further.

“I think that’s the discussion for later, maybe it won’t ever come up,” Damien agreed.

“So… should we go on dates? Sometimes just only two of us, just to know each other better individually, or if something comes up, and also on, uh, triple dates, too?” Courtney suggested, and the boys seemed to be in agreement with her.

“I think as long as we communicate with each other what we’re feeling, we should be fine. There shouldn’t be any pressure to act any different, we could easily just hang out as we always do, just with some added st-”

“Bonuses?” Courtney cut him off, with probably a more accurate word, and they all shared a laugh.

“Sounds legit,” Shayne agreed and as they put the laptop and their glasses down on the table in front of them, they shared a cuddle and a few kisses.

They proceeded to play some Smash, shared a couple of drinks, even more intimate moments in between before they settled back in the bed falling asleep to some cheesy rom-com on Netflix that Shayne had to turn off being the last to give into the night, taking both of their lovers’ glasses off their eyes, closed and already in deep slumber, and putting them on a nightstand beside him.

Call him an optimist, but Shayne had a feeling that they’ll turn out alright.


	9. The Morning-Afters and the Night-Befores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they almost get caught and then get actually caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shoutout to Kat for helping me edit first half of the chapter!

Shayne woke up early that morning, despite being the last one to fall asleep. It was not that surprising, actually, as he had been waking up at roughly the same time for quite a while now, even if he didn’t have an early call time – he loved hitting the gym first thing in the morning, it gave him the energy to kickstart the day properly and if he didn’t do that, more often than not he would feel miserable. He wasn’t sure he wanted to do that though, still spooning Damien next to him. It felt quite good to say in bed - the distance they had kept between them was minimal, as Courtney’s bed was a queen size at best, but he didn’t mind, it was pretty chilly for late November in LA anyway.

He got up after what felt like a couple of minutes, but it could easily have been an hour or so (he couldn’t really tell), soaking in first rays of sunshine, peeking through. Both of his lovers looked so peaceful and he felt so happy and content just lying there and watching them over. He felt like he was somebody important, somebody who could protect them lest something unfortunate were to happen. His stomach grumbling, however, reminded him he could stay like that forever, and he slid off the bed, took a shower, put on his underwear and pants, and proceeded fixing some coffee and breakfast for them all. It was their first morning-after together after all, he felt like making it something special. Even though he was sure he would love to repeat that over and over again, he didn’t have too many high hopes, it was probable that all three of them wouldn’t spend all their nights together and even in that case, someone would inevitably would need to get out to the city earlier than the other two.

“I-is that coffee that I’m smelling?” Courtney asked, mumbling into her pillow, half-awake, trying to turn around on her back but Damien seemed to have her in his grip pretty tightly, as Shayne came back into the bedroom with a breakfast tray.

“Yeah, I made breakfast for us all,” he chuckled, watching her struggle, and putting the tray on the nightstand, handing Courtney her glasses soon after and still holding onto the tray as it was a little too big for the stand: but he couldn’t risk ruining the bedding with spilled coffee, or even worse, burning Damien and Courtney with it as they try wiggling out as quickly as possible.

“How do I wake him up?” Courtney asks desperately, looking at Shayne as if he had any ideas other than starting to scream or leaning over and calling him a little bitch, which would undoubtedly work, but even if Court were up for it, he didn’t think it was right, not this morning, anyway.

“I guess you’ll have to stay like that until he wakes up himself,” Shayne shrugged, and Courtney took her pillow and threw it in his direction, which wasn’t very accurate but still caught him off-guard.

“Hey!!! Watch out for the food.”

“What’s the point, if I’m getting none of it anytime soon,” Shayne had seen Courtney upset before she got her coffee, but it was never this bad. He was sure she played it up, but still.

“Is Damien stinky or something?”

“No, no… what makes you think so? It’s just that he’s heavy and I don’t have that much power to throw him off myself in the morning.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait it out?”

“I’m sure!” she protested, pouting, now almost buried under Damien, as her head was resting on the mattress. Thankfully, Damien moved, rolling to where Shayne was lying half an hour ago, and Courtney sat up, shooting up from the bed straight as an arrow.

“Come on, I’ll feed you,” Shayne suggested, taking the tray back into his hands and taking a seat near Courtney, where her legs rested just a moment ago.

“Um, thanks, I’ll manage,” she chuckled and tried pushing Damien in order to wake him up to almost no avail – all they heard was an incomprehensible mumble.

“Call him a little bitch.”

“What?”

“Lean on his ear and whisper in a deep voice calling him a little bitch. Should work,” Courtney stared at Shayne for a good while, unsure, but she turned to do just so, her eyes still squinted.

“Hey you little RK800-looking bitch, you tight-cuddling ass, you listen here little motherfucker, your boyfriend has made you breakfast so you better fucking wake up and eat it, okay?” Shayne’s eyes widened as she started speaking and a hearty, loud laughter soon followed as Damien lifted up his head confused and Courtney, fortunately enough, jerked her head back and didn’t get hurt.

“I can’t believe you actually committed to that,” Shayne said, barely catching his breath from laughing, as Damien was looking to them both, still very confused.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Courtney tried shying away, brushing her palm against Damien’s thigh, just above the knee.

“How long have you both been up for?” he asked.

“Long enough to watch you sleep,” Shayne admitted with a grin.

“Whatever, you weirdos. So, what’s for breakfast?”

 

They spent next few hours there, the boys helping Courtney to make her place more presentable, as she said. Damien would have disagreed, as he lived in much, much worse state unless he was expecting to have someone over, but he didn’t mind cleaning around and finding out where she kept this thing or that thing. It just felt right, and for a few hours he forgot all his anxieties that he had before starting this. That was until someone knocked on Courtney’s door.

“Shit. It’s Spencer. Go on, hide!”

“What wait, what’s he doing here?”

“I think I promised to hang out or something, but I don’t know! I don’t remember anything that was before yesterday!”

Damien couldn’t argue with that as the last forty or so hours were completely life-changing and he wasn’t sure if he himself had any plans coming up. They just kept their phones on do-not-disturb and didn’t check them throughout the day. Courtney gestured them to hurry so they did scurry themselves away in the bedroom.

They stood awkwardly, Damien leaning on the wall, Shayne next to him. Both listened to Courtney making up an excuse and faking a cough. “No, no, I’m fine, thanks Sped,” she assured as Shayne leaned in closer.

“Hey, fancy seeing you here. Come here often?” he whispered, playfully.

“I am now,” Damien answered before initiating a kiss.

 

“So, you want to check your schedules and decide when we should go do something together?”

“And making sure nobody else is coming over? Can do, Court,” Shayne mocked her, but did as asked.

“Well, I have a couple of auditions, but these are usually in the mornings and take like half-an-hour if I nail it in the first couple takes and-“

“Which you always do, I’m sure,” Courtney assured with a smile. She was pretty sure she didn’t have any meetings planned as she would usually meet up with someone almost instantly when she wanted and was free but checked just in case. She wasn’t sure how long she could pretend that this wasn’t a reality, but she wanted to avoid anyone else she knew just in case.

“I also have geese to take care of! Oh god, they must be worried sick, I’m never out for this long with no catsitter.”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Shayne tried calming him down. “Look, I still have classes most Thursdays and then there’s _The Goldbergs_ … Should I just share my calendar with you guys since I’m clearly the busiest here,” Shayne finished, bitterly. He was happy for his career, obviously, but now he mostly just wanted to spend time with them, as much of it as it was possible, and they seemed to have loads of free time.

“Go ahead, you Hollywood big shot,” Courtney teased him a little, but her smile was warm, welcoming. Homely.

 

They decided on a date in the Italian place they all really liked, and Damien picked them up both, a little afraid he had overdressed, but Courtney and Shayne were in their Sunday best as well, even though they didn’t talk about it. It wasn’t a given either, as the restaurant itself didn’t have a strict dress code, as it welcomed everyone, be it someone just rushing to get some lunch, someone on a vacation, underdressed as they weren’t used to the Californian heat, or someone dressed for business. Or a date, which as their case.

They settled in their booth with no problem, and the server was extremely helpful to him, as Damien was not as familiar with the place as Shayne and Courtney were. They tried to pretend that it was the first time they met, but the casual questions grew into deeper and longer conversations, the drinks they ordered probably helped as well, as Shayne opted for a Bloody Mary, which should complement spaghetti bolognese very nicely, and Courtney made a significant dent in her Mojito glass. Damien excused himself as he drank his Diet Coke quickly as well, just before food was about to arrive at their table.

“I don’t mean to alarm you guys or interrupt your cuddling, because, frankly, it’s very cute, but Ian’s here at four o’clock and he’s been staring at you for at least a minute or two,” Damien had to announce quietly as he took his seat and had his meal served.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incredibly sorry this chapter has been a long time coming and it is probably not that worth of a wait but I hope getting back into writing and posting regularly enough. I still do not know where I want this to go, so you'll have to hang on with me there :) And thank you very much for your patience, kudos and comments, they are very much appreciated!


	10. "It's gonna feel so good, just let it happen"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resolution of the Ian encounter and many more confessions.

Damien hated being the bearer of bad news, he truly did. His left ear started twitching from the adrenaline once he realized Ian was staring at Shayne and Courtney being more than casual in their booth. The whole room seemed to be spinning and closing into him mercilessly, like a spiralling merry-go-round that was driving him mad in a span of a few seconds. He hated this, his whole body was screaming _no_ , a thought of going back to the restroom crossed his mind - but then again his stomach was still empty. And he knew he had to say it whether he liked that or not.

He hated that it was Ian. It could have been anybody else, hell, he’d prefer to see a hyperrealistic ghost of his late father instead, but it had to be Ian, not only his boss, but also the person on the whole crew he had spent the least time with. Well, probably not least, but they were practically strangers still, on a personal level.

He saw Shayne growing concerned as he took his seat, but Damien was quicker to speak up.

And it saying that didn’t feel better. It felt worse, like the tonne of bricks that had hit him now hit them too, and he despised himself for that.

“Fuuuuuck,” Courtney slurred, probably louder than she should have, but it wasn’t a disturbance to the neighboring booths and definitely didn’t reach the Ian’s side of the restaurant.

That’s how it felt like - like the room was split into two sides, a warzone opening between them.

“Fuck indeed,” Shayne was pushing his elbows into the table, his plate between them, face buried in his hands. “And I was wondering why you look like a damn ghost,” he managed to chuckle, but it sounded too bitter to lighten the mood.

“I thought I told you not to freak out,” he said, swirling spaghetti around his spoon, although he couldn’t hide a quiver in his voice well enough.

“You’re right,” Shayne nodded, fake coughing, and sat himself upright before picking his silverware.

They ate in silence for a while, Courtney too shy to even look at either at them.

She couldn’t stop thinking, though. She thought and she thought, the next thought being more ridiculous than the previous one, and she was drowning in that seemingly endless spiral of thoughts and fears.

"Should we come clean? Right now?" Shayne asked after a while, as she was halfway through her dish, it even startled her a little. He was obviously very nervous about the whole ordeal, but probably the least shook of them three.

"Let's just see how he reacts," Courtney pleaded, more scared than anything else. Damien knew that Ian was like another older brother to her, and he suspected that she felt somewhat guilty about all this now. Both of them just nodded in agreement.

“You reckon he’s mad?” she asked, now too afraid of silence falling between them again, her voice so squeaky and quiet, it could barely be heard from Damien’s side of the table.

“Courtney, whatever happens, we’ll be here, okay?” Damien tried reassuring her with a smile, and Shayne nodded, and rubbed her shoulder in reassurance.

As they were finishing up their meals, Ian approached their table. Shayne now genuinely felt like in high school again, like a teenager caught trying to do the devil's tango. It was ridiculous, the way he felt, for sure, but he couldn't help it.

"Enjoying the night off, I assume?" Ian asked, but that was more of a statement than a question, the way he worded it. No _hi_ , no anything, so that was bad news - they were diving straight to the meat of it, great. Damien didn't realize how deeply he exhaled.

"Yeah, how you're doing?" Shayne tried laughing it off, but his arm over Courtney's shoulder was alarming. Sure, they were all more or less touchy people but they all knew that they were behaving much closer than usual.

"Not sure, but thanks for asking, Shayne, was just doing some coffee research. So you two are an item now, huh?"

If it was any other situation, Shayne would have scoffed, and it took a lot of his willpower not to do so. _Coffee research_. Ridiculous reasoning, but that was so Ian that it actually made sense. And then a second later, he was gobsmacked with his mouth hung slightly open.

Courtney, obviously, couldn't even open her mouth, knowing whatever she'd try to say would only lead to more trouble. They all knew that was coming, he just didn't expect being asked this directly and this soon.

Damien coughed to clear his throat and Ian turned to him, frowning.

"Um, Ian, us three, actually," he managed to say. They haven't decided if they were coming clean or not, but it wasn't like Courtney and Shayne could protest it anyway, not in this state. He could actually see a huge relief in Shayne’s face already, and Courtney, well, it seemed she’d be mortified for a long time now.

Damien considered honesty the best policy, knowing that lying and later coming out as a throuple wouldn't make this easy down the road. Not that it was easy to dump it all on Ian right away, but it was better than not trying to come up with some kind of lie when you can’t even get a simple _yes_ or _no_ out.

Ian was now gobsmacked and it took him a while to compose himself, his expressions clearly mirroring his thought process, which made Damien grin a little, but he hid it well, stuffing himself with another spoonful of carbonara.

“And, is this a recent development?”

“No, actually, you’re the first one to find out, and oh my god are you mad??” Courtney now blurted out. Thankfully, it made Ian giggle.

“No, I don’t think I am. Weell, maybe a little. I would have appreciated a heads up though, but I’ll let it slide and think you’ve been thinking of how to bring this up already,” he scratched the back of his neck, now feeling awkward just standing there.

“Thanks, Ian.”

“Yeah, thanks, man.”

“We weren’t going to tell anyone just yet, because we just wanted to see how this goes, but you’d have been one of the first ones to know,” Courtney explained.

“Makes sense,” he nodded. “But not the first one, huh?”

“Well, I think Olivia kinda knows…”

“Olivia?” Shayne and Damien asked in unison and Ian and Courtney laughed.

“Looks like you guys need to sort some things out still. Enjoy your night.”

“See you later, Ian.”

Now that Ian problem was sorted and he was headed back to his table, the boys turned their heads back to Courtney.

“So, Olivia, huh?”

“Look, she doesn’t know _know_ , alright? Calm yo’ tits,” she sighed, seeing their faces still confused and concerned.

“I told her about the thing after Defy,” she tried to make a roundabout reference to the hookup with Damien, as it was kind of a taboo topic still, but there was no way around it. Shayne didn’t see too phased, so it was all good.

“And maybe you guys don’t talk about such things, which honestly explains a lot, but I talk about boy problems with my girl friends. And I honestly didn’t need to talk much, Olivia knew I liked Shayne before I ever admitted it to myself. So I think she’d be stoked if she knew. If or when that’s cool or whatever, I mean.”

"Well of course Olivia knew. She has told me I liked you before I admitted that too," Shayne chuckled.

"Well gosh darn it, I need to talk to Olivia more, it would have been much easier for her to tell us about each other."

"Hey don't give her too much credit. I still need to the upperhand because I hooked her up with Sam. Imagine if she set us three, I'd never be able to live that down."

"Yeah, whatever, Shayne."

"So I'm okay to tell Liv-Liv when it comes up?"

Shayne and Damien looked at each other and kept looking at each other for a while. Courtney noticed they did that quite a lot, having almost telepathic conversations. She was happy that they could do that, but she also felt excluded from that, and thus a little jealous. She probably could do that with Shayne, working closely together for a few years including long shoot days, but Damien… She couldn’t, she still didn’t know him that well.

"Yeah, I think it's cool. But only if it comes up, no need to exclaim that first."

"And I don't think Ian's gonna be running his mouth either, with so much on his plate as it is."

"I feel so bad that he found out, oh my god. Let's just finish up, pay and go chill with Netflix or something, I'm just so fucking tired," Courtney sighed.

“Sounds good to me, let’s get outta here,” Damien agreed, and as discussed they soon got back to Courtney’s place and stayed there for the rest of the night.

 

 

Although they were tired after the last night, Shayne had to leave early for his college class and Damien soon followed suit, eager to record a few voiceover auditions. Courtney didn’t wanna get up, but she still had a bite of breakfast with her boys, giving them see-you-later coffee-infused kisses and wishing them good luck.

She then proceeded to take a long shower, cleaned around her apartment and having her second coffee of the day, she finally texted Spencer back, who was understandably concerned about Courtney’s well-being over the past few days.

 

_you’re right, i wasn’t sick_

_i knew it. so whasup?_

_i had people over and forgot that we were supposed to meet at that time too, and i didn’t wanna ditch them_

_understandable. family?_

_uhhh not exactly_

_wym?_

_uhhhh don’t freak out  
but a date _

_sooo who has u twisted around their finger?_

 

Courtney sighed and dropped a message to the throuple’s group chat, just giving them a heads up about what she was about to do. She got back to the previous screen only to see two new, eager messages.

 

_court come ooon  
??? _

_ur gonna freak out and i really NEED u not to  
but it’s shayne and damien _

_don’t change the subject  
but what about them? _

_i’m not changing the subject_

_??_

_i’m not_  
_just think about it_  
_ur a smart boi_

_oh  
i get it _

_u do?_

_yeah sure  
it’s kind of a recent development i assume? _

_yeah_  
_especially when u came over_  
_sorry about that again_

_ok i totally get it_

_fr?_

_i mean not totally_  
_i personally couldn’t do that_  
_but u go girl_  
_and i assume y’all are happy about this?_

_yeah :)_  
_i mean i am_  
_but i hope i assume right thinking they are too_  
_but actors, you can never know_

_i’m sure they are_  
_ha, that’s the grave u dug urself_  
_hey so when can we get drinks? u owe me_  
_also celebration is in order_

_i do don’t i_  
_don’t be so quick, not everyone knows_  
_but sure dude :D_  
_i’m so happy y'know_

_oh?_

_yeah, it’s just us and ian for now_  
_we didn’t even want to tell him but we saw us out & we decided to come clean_  
_i’m probably telling olivia soon_  
_feels good to say it out loud you know?_  
_well technically not out loud but u catch my drift_  
_god bois are gonna kill me_  
_but i’m just telling people who were suspicious already_

_so i was suspicious huh?_

_don’t flatter yourself sped_

_ok, ttyl yeah? i gotta go_

_yeah, just don’t go running your mouth pleaaaaase_

_u owe me SO many drinks when we’re out_

_u got it, just shut up_

_👍_

 

 

Having finished her coffee, she texted Olivia saying she was missing her and left her phone on the table to clean up. Of course, she could have called her, but it’s been a while since they’ve been in touch and Courtney wasn’t sure if Olivia was busy or not, and the least she wanted to do was to ruin her audition or something of equal importance. Few texts back and forth and now Courtney is scrambling for a weather-appropriate outfit and out the door to jump in Olivia’s passenger seat to a new spot for her that Olivia seemed to be raving about.

It didn’t take long for Olivia to start asking her if she has seen Shayne or Damien lately. Courtney pretended to look at the menu having it stood up on the table in front of her, but she was just adding ' _okay, i’m telling liv too_ ' to the group chat.

“Courtney, I was asking you, not the walls.”

“Oh, sorry. Actually, yeah, I’ve been seeing them both. At the same time,” she added, her cheeks growing rosey. It still felt weird admitting it, even if she trusted Olivia with all the previous information.

As Olivia looked shocked, she proceeded to tell her how it all came about, and Courtney was grateful that her friend just kept her mouth open instead of actually screaming about it, which she was afraid she was going to do.

“Oh my god, Courtney, oh my goooood. Like I’m so glad for you, I really I am. Like you literally got what you wanted. Or who you wanted I should say,” she laughed. “That’s so fucking badass, I’m proud of you, biiiiitch.”

“Thanks, Liv Liv,” Courtney couldn’t help but laugh too. She was so relieved her friend was happy for them too. And letting her know on her own terms now felt really good.

“But are you sure you’re gonna make it work?”

“Yes.”

“And what about working-”

“Ian knows.”

“He knows? Courtneyyyyy!!!” Courtney knew she was insulted, at least a little.

“It’s not like we told him ourselves, he saw us together, and you know we couldn’t lie, it would have made it worse in the long run.”

“And he assumed you three were a thing straight away?”

“No, just me and Shayne, but Damien made a call. Again, not wanting to make it worse in the long run.”

“Hmm, seems smart. I couldn’t imagine if Sam worked with us and we got together that way. I mean, I love him, and I love you guys, but I don’t think I could deal with all of this. No offense.”

“None taken. Trust me, it’s worse than you can imagine. But it’s not like we planned or thought this could even happen, and so far we’re lucky with the reactions,” she giggled.

“Oh yeah? Who else knows?”

“Just you two. And I expect to keep your mouth shut until we decide to tell the others.”

“Okay, okay, my lips are sealed.”

“Which reminds me. Spencer’s been bugging me so he’s the last one who knows.”

“Why?”

“I forgot he was coming over to hang out when I was hanging with the boys. Literally had to shove them back to my room and pretend I got sick and forgot to text him. Hated doing that to him, but otherwise it was kinda funny.”

“And you thought he suspected something?”

“Don’t tell me I wasn’t suspicious these past few weeks.”

“You’re right, you really have been too _busy_ to even text me,” Olivia now laughed and Courtney sighed.

“I’m about to run my mouth, aren’t I?”

“Seems like it, Court. But talk to your boys first, don’t be so rash.”

“Okay, thanks. Let’s hang out to celebrate sometime soon?”

“Screw it, let’s do it now, it’s prime brunch time.”

“Liv, I mean when everyone knows,” Courtney laughed.

“Sure. Just let me know who else knows and is coming too.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Courtney.”

 

When she got home after a lengthy Lyft ride home, mimosa still pumping in her veins, she opened her phone again.

 

Damien: _Courtney, we left you alone for HALF A DAY, and you told TWO people. I’m so tickling you till you beg me to stop as a punishment_

Shayne: _*We’re_

And even though she hated being tickled, she was still looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a while. Sorry for the delay in the uploads recently, but I've been trying to make the fic go somewhere and actually plan it out as opposed to writing on a whim as I did starting it! I have many more multi-chapter fic ideas on the back burner, so even though NBWY will always be my baby, I am really trying to keep it moving so I can get started on those too (and the idea of having a few WIPs at once really doesn't excite me, so that explains my one shots here and there, hehe). Hope you enjoyed this a little lengthy and dense chapter, but I really did need to make it up for you guys. :) Thank you so much for your patience and feedback, it means more than you can imagine.


	11. I'll Let You Down If You Let Me Too Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad shoots a first batch of sketches after the shutdown and goes to celebrate it the day after. Shayne and Courtney get invited to a double date while Damien is hoping to set up the gaming station for streaming before he goes to visit his family, but that's not the only thing that worries him these days.

Weeks went by, and more and more of the former Smosh employees found out about the throuple. When they finally gathered enough scripts and props to film a few sketches at Ian's, they didn't feel like hiding any longer, as most of their colleagues already knew; pretending otherwise would have just felt weird.

So they arrived together, hand-in-hand, and after receiving a few odd looks, Courtney fake-coughed to bring more attention to them. This unfortunately backfired at first, as the others now pretended they haven't seen a thing, so Shayne added another louder cough.

"We have an announcement," Courtney said.

"Although most of you know already," Damien added.

"We're dating. All three of us. We hope y'all are cool with it. We promise it's not that big of a deal," Shayne finished and they all proceeded as usual. Well, as usual as they could considering the unusual circumstances and the unfamiliar walls of Ian's house they found themselves in.

"Happy for you guys," Ryan Todd nodded as they were getting ready to roll.

"Hope we'll be able to celebrate this now," Olivia chimed in, all excited that the cat was finally out of the bag.

"I guess we'll need a break after this shoot is done. I think our DIsneyland passes that Defy got us should still be valid till the end of the year, so we really should make the most of it, don't you think?" Ian asked.

"Yeah, squeeze the shit outta those assets," Keith seemed excited over the idea.

"And Buca dinner afterwards?" Olivia was always the one thinking about the food.

"You know it. Courtney owes me  _ so many drinks _ ," Spencer who was unusually helping out the producers today, grinned.

"Okay guys, now get back to positions before you make me all hungry," Ryan reminded them and soon after the filming started.

"Hey guys, you have a minute?" Noah approached them, as the were sitting down, waiting for Garrett and Tommy to pick up their late lunch, Postmated to Ian's place. Apparently their delivery guy got lost, so the squad was getting hungrier by the minute.

"Sure, join us! What's up?"

"Well, since y'all are official... Tiff and I were actually looking into fun date ideas but a few of them for double dates and such. We were going to the lasertag with my brother and his girlfriend this Friday, but something came up in her family so they had to cancel and we haven't found somebody else to replace them yet.  And we could easily book another per-"

"That won't be necessary. I'm flying to visit my family this weekend, but they're more than welcome to join," Damien cut him off with an apologetic look. He knew there were going to be some twožperson dates between them three but he didn't expect them to start so soon or to be the first one left out, but he wanted them to have fun, too. Also, he saw this would help out Noah big time.

"We are?"

"Well, we'd love to," Shayen reassured and Courtney smiled as well.

"Okay, I'll text you details when I get home. Or Tiff will, from my phone," he chuckled.

"It's a date, then," Courtney smiled and then greeted Garrett, or more likely, the food he was bringing them with open arms to fill them up for the rest of the shoot.

As Courtney was pulling in her driveway, both Shayne's and her phone beeped, in unison.

"It's Noah. Group chat for us and them," Shayne explained, checking the screen.

"I feel bad that Damien's alone trying to set up everything for streaming himself," Courtney sighed as she turned off the engine. "Let alone go on a date without him."

"Look, he said it's fine. It would have happened anyway, sooner or later. Besides, you saw him, he needs some alone time. Especially that we're going to have a full day of Disney tomorrow."

"I guess you're right. I just hope he knows we're supporting him about this. Like, I could have helped with the cables and such..."

"I'm sure he knows, Court," he leaned in for a short kiss, but it was interrupted by another synchronous beep. "Oh for fuck's sake, Noah," he sighed making Courtney laugh.

"Actually, it was Tiff."

The next day both of them were early and bright as the squad and crew were going on the discussed Disneyland trip. As the carpooling was decided the night before, they just needed to get ready and wait to be picked up by Olicvia in her spacious SUV. Why she arrived much later was apparent when they took a backseat.

"Hey guys!" Keith greeted enthusiastically, hugging a disposable coffee cup in his hands.

"Hi," Sarah, sitting behind him, waved shyly.

"So that's why you're late, Olivia?"

"You know it," she nodded, laughing. "Sarah's car broke down, so we needed to divide her passengers, and I got stuck with these two."

"Sorry, I know you wanted Damien, but Ian snagged him first since he lives closest to him," Sarah explained.

"Don't worry about it. We all know it's Keith's fault anyway," Olivia teased and laughter from everyone but Keith ensued.

"Hey, at least I bought coffee for you two, who cares if I'm a minute or two too late."

"More like an hour or two," Sarah snided.

"Oh shut up, and drink your coffee you ungrateful bitch," more laughter since Keith wasn't that offended and Sarah also played it off as it was just the usual banter.

"So how's your double date going along, you guys?" Keith asked.

"Uhh, it's fine," Courtney still wasn't comfortable with the idea to go on a date without Damien and she didn't really wanna talk about it.

"Oh come on, spill. Not all of us are lucky as you guys," he pressed.

"Last time I checked you were the only single person in this car," Shayne pointed.

"Touché. But everyone else is also old news."

"Olivia, can we pretend we didn't hear that?" Sarah asked.

"Good thinking, Sarah," she giggled.

"Oh, just give me some dating tips then, you guys," Keith pleaded.

"You know how we met right? Not precisely the most ordinary circumstances," Shayne reminded.

"Nah, but still, give me anything."

"I'll organize you another Disneyland proposal, if you wish," Courtney suggested.

"Oh hell no. I'll do it myself then. You don't want your boyfriends to be jealous of your fiancé now, do you?"

"Fake fiancé," Shayne corrected. "But he's got a point, you know. You've never called off your engagement, and that was before you and Damien even met."

"Oh shut up, I wasn't suggesting  _ myself _ . Someone may recognize us again. And I don't mind if Keith becomes a serial Disneyland proposer."

"You know, going viral with this might help your chances. Trust me, I'm a social media expert," Sarah chimed in.

"Fuck off guys, I was genuinely looking for advice and you're just giving me shit," Keith finished his drink and crossed his arms.

"How are you, babe? Slept well, I hope?" Courtney approached Damien with open arms.

"Courtney, dear... watch out for the fans," Shayne had to remind her just as she was going in for the kiss, so she clumsily had to lay her head on his shoulder at the very last second.

"Don't worry, I'm good," Damien chuckled.

"And your setup? All good?" Shayne asked. It all looked fairly unsuspicious to an outsider, but you could pick up the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, it should all be ready to go when I come back."

"And you've packed, yeah?" Courtney asked as they were approaching the entrance to the park.

"Basically, except for the toiletries I'll need in the morning and a phone charger. Now, can we enjoy ourselves? Y'all are making it seem like you wanna get rid of me sooner rather than later," he laughed, masking his fear of being left out.

"Okay okay. We just want you to enjoy the next few days as much as you can."

"Yeah, the least I want is for you to leave, but you know I can't complain when I'm going to Florida for Christmas," Shayne added.

"True," Damien grinned and soon enough their passes and Courtney's bag were checked with no further problems. "So to the Splash Mountain we go?"

"Ugh, as long as we're going to the Guardians ride next!" Courtney begrudgingly agreed.

After Disney they went to Buca, where celebrations of a successful shoot and their new relationship were in order. As well as all the drinks owed to Spencer, as Courtney was reminded, although she wasn't willing to fall behind him.

"Courtney, wake up," she heard Damien in the morning, muffled as if she was drowning. His voice sounded a little impatient, yet still soft, so she suspected it wasn't his first attempt to wake her up this morning. "Come on, I made you coffee." Okay, this was much clearer.

She opened her eyes a little too eagerly and as she wasn't adjusted to the brightness in Damien's bedroom, she closed them again, letting out a little shriek.

"Fuuuuck," she exhaled, as her explicitness made Damien chuckle, lifting up her arms to stretch them a little and then trying to sit up in the bed before trying to open her eyes again.

"Don't forget you're my chauffeur today," he reminded her teasingly, and she saw him smile.

"Shit, I totally forgot," she reached for the cup Damien was holding.

"Nuh-uh, this one's mine, yours is in the kitchen, lady. I knew you wouldn't get up otherwise. Two sugars, right?" he stood up from the bed as Courtney glared at him for a moment.

"That cup better have two sugars, or else I'm suing," she threw her blanket off her body towards the center off the bed and got up.

"Well, at least it worked, didn't it?" Damien teased her, following her into the kitchen.

"You're lucky I love you," she mumbled into her coffee and slurped it.

"Soo, what do you remember from last night?" he asked after she downed a few big gulps of her lukewarm bean juice.

"Not much. Pretty much just that Matt kept asking if I was okay."

"And were you?"

"Yeaaaah," she laughed. "Honestly don't know yet. But I'm sure I kept saying I am, he just didn't believe me."

"You sure you can drive me to the airport?"

"Yeah, it's no biggie. I have driven while feeling much much worse. I just need some coffee to wake up and then water so I don't dehydrate completely. Like, lots of it," she giggled and Damien was convinced for now.

"Courtney, hey, you know where my contacts are?" Damien asked, peaking his head out of the bathroom door.

"No, why?"

"It's just... Well, I always put them there next to the sink the night before I know I would be using them. I swear I put them there last night, it's like, my thing-"

"OCD?" Courtney just cut to the chase, and Damien smiled.

"Yeah. And you know geese aren't allowed in the bathroom."

"About that, yeah... You said next to the sink?"

"Yes," Damien knew where this was going, and exhaled deeply.

"Shit, I think I put them in myself. I'm sorry, I thought they looked like mine. I hope they're your dailies?"

"Yep. You know, don't worry about it," he played it down, smiling and put his head back. "How's my vision, by the way?" he raised his voice a little so she could still hear him while he was searching for a new pair of contacts.

"Come to think of it, fucking blurry," Courtney laughed it off and Damien chuckled in agreement, but looking at the mirror, he knew he was faking his laugh and he hated himself for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year, y'all! a few of my resolutions this year was to try to write something every day and post something every week, so i hope you enjoyed the chapter that was a result of this. since ao3 is not really accommodating updates, feel free to follow me on tumblr @coshaymien fot that sort of this along with all sorts of other smosh content!


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